In the Night Farm…Your Ride is Here.

Speed Limit

It’s back.  That creeping sensation of desire that comes with spring.  The urgency to get out, accomplish, sweat, strain, go, do.  So much accomplishment awaits, like a daffodil bulb under frozen earth, only degrees from bursting into flower.

There are horses to train, conditioning trails to explore, miles to race.  There are fences and shelters to be built, a trailer to buy, hooves to trim, research to complete, photos to snap, blog posts to write.  Today, I see the forest and the trees.

There is the usual barrier:  time.  While the days grow perceptibly longer, we have months yet to wait before I’ll come home on weekdays to a dry round corral and a few hours’ light by which to train.  In the meantime, my job is in its most demanding phase of the year.  The legislative session plays havoc with my schedule, absorbing energy and sleep like a great, black hole.

Another barrier:  money.  Nobody has enough these days, including me.  Projects pile up, each more urgent than the last…and more expensive.  I need a new horse trailer.  I need to fence and cross-fence my pasture.  I need to build more paddocks and run-ins for the horses.  Shall I sell a horse or two?  Scale back on competition for a year to save money?  Request lottery tickets for my birthday?

And then there is the physical aspect:  injury.  Those of you who follow In the Night Farm on Facebook know that I came off Consolation a few weeks ago (story here).  While I’m now able to walk reasonably well, I am still far from being able to ride. 

Tasks and resources slide in and out of focus, a kaleidoscope of priorities.  Each glitters in turn, then fades before I can grasp it.  I could sit here forever, vaguely distressed, dreaming.  If wishes were horses…

Or, I could take one, tiny step – now, today – to make the dreams come true.

So the round corral is slick and I’m in too much pain to ride.  I’ll take Consolation and Acey for handwalks instead, loosening up my muscles and their minds. 

So money is tight.  I’ll complete my tax return now that the last of the paperwork has arrived, and see how much I have coming back.

So time is short and the weather questionable.  I can still gather materials lists and estimate costs, so my building projects are ready when I am.

Progress needn’t necessarily be defined by its speed.

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9 responses

  1. What a great post, Tamara. 🙂

    I wish I could fix everything at once too, but at the same time I kind of enjoy the planning process. It’s so much more satisfying when I finally get to start something after months of planning and dreaming and gathering materials.

    May your tax return be a pleasant surprise!

    January 29, 2011 at 9:39 am

  2. Rosanne

    Hubby just finished our taxes yesturday. We will be getting a refund…now we need to prioritize our wants/needs. Do we re-foam the roof? Paint the house? Buy more fencing? Add more rides to the list this year? Who knows. I know he has already signed up for Tevis this year…we will need a small nest-egg just to cover all those expenses. I have a feeling between the horses and our daughter’s tuition…the house will have to wait. sigh. Here’s hoping you will soon be feeling well enough to ride! 🙂

    January 29, 2011 at 10:14 am

  3. Kathy

    Tamara, that is one of the most motivating posts I have ever read. Thank you. One often feels defeated before ever getting started, but you have expressed so well how to push back against the seemingly overwhelming barriers.

    January 29, 2011 at 10:27 am

  4. Happy to read that you are able to walk better now. You sure sound itchy for spring (and have a long list of things to accomplish). You will do it, one way or another. I hope you have had some help with all your critters.

    You said something about the legislature and your work load. Do you work there? Our daughter just left her job as chief of staff for the dems at our county leg and has gone on to work for a State Assemblyman whose campaign she just ran. A very busy place.

    January 29, 2011 at 10:39 am

  5. Dom

    Experiencing the same spring sensation.

    January 29, 2011 at 11:20 am

  6. I have you on my blog roll and don’t know how I missed the accident. Wow. What a crash. A person that is not as fit probably would have come out a lot worse. Sounds like you have a game plan for getting well. But I’m sure it is hard to have patience. I know I would.

    In addition to a list of home chores & repairs similar to yours & the need for a new truck — and the price of fuel getting outrageous once again — I know horse activity won’t be as easy this year.

    Take care & get well soon. Will look you up on Facebook next.

    January 29, 2011 at 11:48 am

  7. Good grief! I completely missed news of your crash too — so very sorry you’re dealing with these speed bumps of intense pain and frustration. But as always you’re inspiring in the level-headed no-nonsense way you’re approaching recovery and plans for the future. There’s a refrain in a favorite blues tune, “you can’t go around what you gotta go through”. You’ll get through in fine style I have no doubt.

    January 29, 2011 at 2:22 pm

  8. sj

    Excellent point.
    Very few fights are won with one punch. Generally, you have to throw a lot of leather. Each punch sets up the next one, makes each successive punch more effective. Victory comes from the cumulative effect, one punch at a time.

    So I think you’re right.
    You find ways to “keep punching,” to keep moving forward toward your goals, even if it means only in what seem to be small measures.

    At least, that’s what the fortune cookie said.

    sj

    January 30, 2011 at 7:50 am

  9. Chomping at the bit you might say. I feel the same way. It’s so fun and motivating to plan isn’t it?? Spring is the best. So new trailer??? LQ? us too.. well, we have been at the “planning, researching, looking, wishing” stage..Might have to make the old gray steel monster get us by yet another year…

    Here’s to goals!

    January 30, 2011 at 5:42 pm

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