It’s back. That creeping sensation of desire that comes with spring. The urgency to get out, accomplish, sweat, strain, go, do. So much accomplishment awaits, like a daffodil bulb under frozen earth, only degrees from bursting into flower.
There are horses to train, conditioning trails to explore, miles to race. There are fences and shelters to be built, a trailer to buy, hooves to trim, research to complete, photos to snap, blog posts to write. Today, I see the forest and the trees.
There is the usual barrier: time. While the days grow perceptibly longer, we have months yet to wait before I’ll come home on weekdays to a dry round corral and a few hours’ light by which to train. In the meantime, my job is in its most demanding phase of the year. The legislative session plays havoc with my schedule, absorbing energy and sleep like a great, black hole.
Another barrier: money. Nobody has enough these days, including me. Projects pile up, each more urgent than the last…and more expensive. I need a new horse trailer. I need to fence and cross-fence my pasture. I need to build more paddocks and run-ins for the horses. Shall I sell a horse or two? Scale back on competition for a year to save money? Request lottery tickets for my birthday?
And then there is the physical aspect: injury. Those of you who follow In the Night Farm on Facebook know that I came off Consolation a few weeks ago (story here). While I’m now able to walk reasonably well, I am still far from being able to ride.
Tasks and resources slide in and out of focus, a kaleidoscope of priorities. Each glitters in turn, then fades before I can grasp it. I could sit here forever, vaguely distressed, dreaming. If wishes were horses…
Or, I could take one, tiny step – now, today – to make the dreams come true.
So the round corral is slick and I’m in too much pain to ride. I’ll take Consolation and Acey for handwalks instead, loosening up my muscles and their minds.
So money is tight. I’ll complete my tax return now that the last of the paperwork has arrived, and see how much I have coming back.
So time is short and the weather questionable. I can still gather materials lists and estimate costs, so my building projects are ready when I am.
Progress needn’t necessarily be defined by its speed.